


Bad Days

by lonestarbabe (neverfeltlesscool), Pigeonsplotinsecrecy



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Concerned Carlos Reyes, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverfeltlesscool/pseuds/lonestarbabe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeonsplotinsecrecy/pseuds/Pigeonsplotinsecrecy
Summary: T.K. has a bad day, and Carlos tries to help.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 13
Kudos: 172





	Bad Days

Carlos knows about T.K.’s bad days. He’s been through enough of them to know that sometimes it can be weeks without one, while other times it can be weeks filled with them. Sometimes, it’s obvious that one is coming while other times, they sneak up on T.K., hitting him before he can make sense of why they are there.

They’ve been dating for three months, but Carlos still hasn’t figured out what his place is on bad days. He doesn’t know if he should stay near T.K. or leave him alone because the answer is never the same. Sometimes, T.K. doesn’t even know what he wants. It’s hard, and it’s frustrating, but it’s no one’s fault. It just is something that happens like a rainy day or a strike of lightning.

Today is the worst day T.K. has had in a while, and like it’s something that just happens, it’s something that just is. There’s no catastrophic event or tragedy to make it that way. It’s simply bad because for whatever reason, T.K.’s brain decided it would be. There’s no cure for these days other than time. Certain things can ease the pain and speed along the recovery, but there’s no magic trick, no formula, no sense to the uneasiness that has settled in the air between them.

It is 11 am and T.K. is still in bed, slow to wake and unable to start his day because the hardest part of a bad day is getting out of bed and facing that the day won’t be easy. To give T.K. some space, Carlos had gone on the run, hopped in the shower, and now he is half-clothed in the bed beside T.K. 

Carlos is scared, but his face is unflinchingly calm. He’s learned to be this way, long before he even knew T.K. When he rescued his first pet, a tabby cat, from the gutter, he’d learned that spooked animals don’t respond well to spooked people. The same was true of spooked people, and as a police officer, an impassive expression could go a long in keeping Carlos safe and keeping others safe too.

“How are you?” Carlos asks, curious about how T.K. will reply. How much T.K. talked was a good way for Carlos to gauge his mood. When he was anxious, he spoke fast and kept talking about whatever popped into his mind until he calmed. When he was calm, he took his time with his speech, letting pauses fill the air without any discomfort. When he was depressed, he was too quiet.

T.K. doesn’t even look at Carlos, still staring at the ceiling. “Are you okay?” Carlos tries again. Slowly, T.K. moves his head to look at Carlos, but he still doesn’t utter a word. He looks as if he hadn’t heard a word Carlos said.

“Cariño? What’s wrong?” T.K. shakes his head. “Do you want me to call your dad?” Another head shake. “Doctor?” A third head shake. “Do you want me to leave?” T.K. shrugs, which usually meant T.K. wanted him to stay but didn’t want to be too needy. Face still calm, Carlos’ heart was pounding loud in his ears; he’d never seen T.K. like this. Even when T.K. was in a coma, he made more noise than he was making now. Carlos takes T.K.’s hands in his, and T.K. rolls over so that he’s against Carlos. It looks like it took all his energy to just do that.

There was nothing Carlos could think of to fix this, and that was the horror of bad days. No amount of love, attention, or care could cure them. Carlos was helpless, and he hated it. It drove him crazy having to see the person he loved so still and silent. When T.K. had a bad day, Carlos’ whole world felt like it was crumbling. It felt like the Earth was spinning off its axis, and Carlos would take the pain all for himself if he could, but he couldn’t.

All he could do was watch T.K. be torn up from the inside out. Watch him sleep. Watch him stare at the ceiling. Watch him tiredly start his day. Watch him go back to bed after failing to start his day. Watch him sleep a while longer even though he’s already slept 10 hours. Watch him get up and try again at starting his day. Watch him regret trying. Watch him go back to bed after his defeat. Watch him sip water and refuse food. Watch him find words for the first time all day. Watch him eat dinner. Watch him rest a while longer. Watch him try to have a conversation. Watch him break down. Watch him apologize. Watch him beg to feel better. Watch his face drop as he fears that may never happen. Watch him as he looks to you for an answer. Hate that you don’t have one.

“We’ll be alright,” Carlos finally says because somehow, they would be, just not today.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! Thanks for reading.


End file.
